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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

I was all set to actually do the Friday Five..on a Friday even. But the questions sucked. So oh well.

Had a nice long chat with my man on...hmm..was it Wednesday night? My work schedule totally throws off my sense of time. Yes, it was Wed. Anyway, it was nice. We had some naughty talk, had our mushy I love yous. I think for once we made some headway in our tug of war on commitment. See, I keep thinking it was me or maybe just him being a punk. But he said something about wanting to be prepared to be a "husband, father and breadwinner." Well, the whole father thing freaked me out. I was like, whoa bud, slow down. I have come to think that I don't want kids until I am closer to thirty. Because of that I was not really able to comment on the whole "breadwinner" thing. I know he does not mean anything bad...he's not some knuckledragging neanderthal who would want his woman barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen or something. But his comment did kinda hurt my feelings since I know I will never make big bucks as a teacher - I have come to terms with that, and I don't mind, but his comment reminded me that if I ever wanted really nice things for my family I probably would have to count on him as well.

On an unrelated note, why is Monica's diary passworded? I am not a happy camper. I hope it is some "I'm workin on my layout thing." Cause if she left I will be sad.

Last night Holly and I had dinner and then went to the beach to sit on the cannons and talk. Yes, our beaches have cannons, well not all of them, but this beach was a fort..I think in the Revolutionary War. We mostly talked about high school, regrets we had, old boyfriends, and stupid things we had done lately to jeopardize our current relationships. To sum up our conversation, we felt we had stupid things, and wondered if we would ever smarten up. We figured no, in another five years we would still look back with regret at stupid things we did.

Oh well.

I have been lost in the past a lot lately. I was writing in my paper journal about how I wish I could edit my past like a story that was badly written. At least, I think I would like to change certain things...I guess I learned something from each bad relationship, each friendship that went sour, every single stupid thing I did that seemed incredibly smart at the time.

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