If you're from Boston:
1. you'll know who the cahdnal is, how to take the T to JP and what the
blinking read light atop the old Hancock Building means in the summer
(winter=snow)
2. if you're smaht, you'll never get cahded at the packie (liquor/package
store)
3. you only eat Italian sausage outside Fenway Pahk before a Sox game with
mustahd, peppahs-n-onions
How we'll know you weren't bon heah:>br>
1. you wear a Harvard sweatshirt
2. you cross at a crosswalk
3. you ask directions to "Cheers"
4. you order a grinder and a soda
5. you follow soccer
6. you eat at Durgin Park
7. you pronounce it "Worchester" or "Glouchester"
8. you call it "COPEly" Square
Things not to do:
1. Don't call it Beantown
2. Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd. They'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or
Slumaville (Somerville)
3. Don't swim in the Charles...no matter what Bill Weld tells you
4. Don't sleep in the Common
5. Don't wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day (you may be killed)
Things you should know:
1. There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock
buildings (one old, one new)
2. There's also a Boston Latin School and a Boston Latin Academy. Both are
referred to as Boston Latin...how should we know which one you mean?
3. Route 128 is aso I-95. It is also I-93
4. It's the Sox, the Pats (or Patsies if they're losing), the Seltz, and the
Broons
5. The Harvard Bridge doesn't' go to Harvard, it goes to MIT.
6. The bridge is measured in 'smoots' which is the length of a certain
Computer Science student at MIT (go on the ducktours...)
7. The underground train is not a subway, it's the T, and it doesn't run
all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk!)