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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

I miss my little kidlets...alot. It hurts. It really really hurts. I just don't get it. I worked at another school for FOUR years, watched these cute little K-1 kids grow, and I wasn't as sad. Okay, there are like 2 or 3 I really really miss...

My point is that I am really hurting over leaving my class. Wednesday was unbearably hard. I wanted to cry so hard. But I couldn't let myself. Of course, my kids were hurt I did not cry. I think maybe if I did not have math, or a 45 minute drive after...I don't know. All I knew is that I would not cry in front of them. I was teary the whole time. The showed me the pictures they made... *tears again*

They made me a book. With photographs, letters they drew, pictures they made. Two students wrote me a song! They sang it for me, and I wanted to sink right into the stained carpet. Their questions echoed in my head. Why do I have to leave them? Why can't I stay? Don't I want to stay? What if they don't like their new teacher? Will I forget them? Will I visit?

I felt lower than low. How can you explain to kids that you don't want to go, that you love them, that you would be there forever for them if you could....but you can't.

You know, maybe I CAN'T do this; because I don't know if I can set myself up for such heartache year after year. Hell, this wasn't my exclusive class. What am I going to do when I have my OWN class, for a whole year? *sigh*

This sucks.

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