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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

Can you blame me?

Inspiration and hope came from the oddest of places. I was talking to one of my ex-boyfriends, (yes ANOTHER one, I swear I don't have that many) he was actually the guy I was seeing when I got to know Jim. I fell for Jim so hard that I left this guy to pursue a relationship with Jim. At least he is not bitter about the whole thing.

Anyway, he says if you love someone you should fight for them. And believe me, I want to fight to make our relationship work. At the same time, you can't make the other person do the same. And that's what this is all about. I don't think he is all that into it. But Jenn, you point out, he came to visit you; he wrote that wonderful entry. True. I don't know how to explain that.

If I knew what was going on, I would not have spent most of the day bawling my eyes out.

To clear up some misconceptions:

1. I did not really break up with Jim, I merely am letting him off the hook. If he does not want to be with me, then lets stop pretending
2. I DO want to be with him, that is, of course, if he wants to be with ME.
3. I do want to talk to him.

I'm serious about that last one. I was really hurt when a hamburger, albeit one that was getting cold, was chosen over talking to a crying girlfriend. Besides I was paying for the call. Geesh. So while I am angry about that, I do not think its worth being so up in the air.

So please Jim, if you are reading this, call me. ANYTIME. I don't care if it is 5:30 AM, 2:30 AM, whenever, well, just don't call if I am at work, that would be silly.

If you don't I will surely call you when I get home.

Goodnight everyone.

Listening to: "Bittersweet Symphony" The Verve

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