New
Older
About Me
Cast
Diaryrings
contact
Wishes
clix
my ebay listings
Image
Design
Diaryland

July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

Two more hours, two more hours.

I am beyond excited. The last visit, being so last minute and all, left me feeling unlike my new self. I feel like I am not the same girl who stood on the football field almost four months ago in her cap and gown.

I went through something similar four years ago when I started college. I felt that it was an excellent opportunity to reinvent myself, becoming something more akin to how I wanted to be.

I have changed my eating patterns. I have changed how I look. In turn this has changed how I feel. I feel happier now. It's been a while since I have felt particulary UNhappy, but I was not exactly happy either.

I had a conversation with Suz and I felt that I had a hard time explaining a comment perhaps I should not have made. When my life took a bad turn, I started drowning in my negativity. It was so much easier for me to bitch about how bad my life than to do anything about it. They say a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, but that is the hardest step to make, I think. Finally I picked myself up, brushed myself off, and set my mind to changing things. I was tired of being miserable about it. And as I said, I feel a lot better now.

Is my life all sunshine and rainbows now? Hardly. I was brutally crushed yesterday, and I found myself wallowing in the negativity of the situation. I'm still having a hard time seeing what is positive about this. Fortunately I have Jim who doesn't mind kicking me in the ass when I need it.

So, I tried to "pay it forward" and give my advice to Suzanne. Apparently it came off as very offensive, and I hurt her feelings. I hate that. I think we cleared the air now though. I hope so.

Anyway, I have a thousand other things I should be doing, and of course, here I am, wasting time on the computer. Heh.

Before - After