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| July 01, 2006 |
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| ever feel your life is like a song? |
I know you're sick and tired of arguing I called Jim like three times last night, and we talked on IM for a bit too. By the end he was really frustrated, and I was really frustrated, and it was not fun. I was talking to Suz at one point, and she pointed out the idiocy of keeping things bottled in. That's why I called Jim the third time...to call him out on his negativity surrounding the whole moving to VA thing. Im going to do the best I can do Cause i'm the best when i'm with you Why doesn't he seem to take it seriously that we need to end this long distance thing? I mean, hell, I hate him being so far away, AND I know that two years is a long time to do this, and it would not be healthy for us to keep doing this much longer. Instead of focusing on that, he whines about "continuity" (he's lived in so many places in the last 6 years) I can't have any sympathy for that. I have lived in so many different places. Sure, I would love to just plant my ass and allow my shit to actually get dusty. I don't think about that, because I know this last move puts me in the same zip code as Jim, and hey, we can stay in this new place as long as we want. He also whined about how much it would cost to move. If I wanted to make this a pissing contest, I could point out how much it is going to cost ME, moving down the east coast, compared to him moving within the same town (hopefully). And as far as rent possibly being a little more, well, I have already made my feelings known about the 2 square inches of space that he calls a room. Also, the whole apartment will be ours. If we feel like watching something (porn? ah, the possibilities) in the living room, we can. Hell, we could walk around naked, not worry about being quiet during sex, and so much more. Besides, if money was really an issue, I already said to him that considering that he travels so much during the school year for his job that maybe rent should not be 50-50. I could live with that. Maybe we could do like 60-40 or some shit like that. I really don't care. I DON'T CARE BECAUSE THE POINT IS THAT I WANT TO BE WITH JIM. Sorry, don't mean to yell, but I get so frustrated. For all his harping on me being positive, he sure has a negative outlook on the one thing that keeps me happy these days. (92 more days!)
Come close to me baby I can't wait to get there. Move in day will be so exciting.
Put down your bags love Though this love may hurt a bit He also mentioned that we should talk about this moving thing when he comes next week. Uh oh. I hope this conversation goes well. I kind of laugh when you cuss at me His reactions to me have changed now. He hangs up on me, which he didn't do before. Hell, I knew he was mad, but that made me pretty upset. Usually when he gets mad, I just shrug it off. Sometimes it's kinda funny to me when he gets mad because I feel like his reactions are inappropriate. Well, in the sense of I would not expect him to react that way. Part of it is him being reserved. I just want you to put trust in me In any case, I wonder what's going to happen to us. I know that if it were up to him, we would just date forever. We would be the only nonfamous couple celebrating 35 years of dating, I can see it now. Sometimes I consider whether I should bail. However, I feel like it has been so long now since we have done the real relationship thing. I would like to give it a chance. Hell, it's not like I am not going to keep my options open. Ha, what am I talking about? Men hardly register on my radar screen. Of course, you never know, Jim could wake up one day and decide that I actually mean so much to him that he wants me to always be a part of his life. A girl can hope, right?
You help me to discovery me I guess it's my luck that the love of my life may not consider me his. Could the fates have made a mistake? Was I meant for someone who was meant for someone else? I would not be a happy girl.
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| said Jenn on March 05, 2003 at 9:13 p.m. |