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| July 01, 2006 |
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| bah humbug |
I'm not completely sure why I have been pondering this, but the more I think about it, the more I think it's better that Jim and I are going to live together again rather than get married. I think I am just feeling some pangs of independence or something. I mean, I want him around more often, I hate that we cannot really do things like make dinner or that he can't stay the night because of this that or the other thing... Yet there are some things I am not sure I am ready to give up right now. For instance, my financial independence. I totally think that we should pool quite a bit of our paychecks into a joint account when we get married, saving only a little for ourselves like an allowance. I think I would feel guilty though, as a wife, going off to buy Clinique, or when I went out after work for drinks. Don't get me wrong, I am not exactly pissing away my money now, and I wouldn't then, but I like that I only have to own up to myself when I get a little spendhappy. And though I don't think Jim would be the kind of person to get mad at me for spending money (he spends quite a bit, and actually a lot of it is on me) I just know that I would feel guilty for not letting it go towards something. In fact, I think part of my reticence at this moment comes from just that. At times I feel myself getting reluctant to go out or buy something small. Because I think to myself, that should go towards a house, or a wedding, or a honeymoon. WTF? None of those things are even coming SOON, so I need to stop worrying about it. And truth be told, as time progresses, the whole affair of having a WEDDING is seeming less and less important. For one, it's not like the bride's side would be teeming with people. I'm more focused on having a nice honeymoon and having a nice house. Anyway, my feathers are just a little ruffled, and I felt like sharing. I'm sure I will get over it soon though. :)
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| said Jenn on April 25, 2004 at 3:47 p.m. |