So it's been a week. What a really long week. Since yesterday it was like it was really sinking in what the situation was. Every time I come home from J's place I want to turn down his street, but I don't. When I see his name on AIM, I want to IM him, but I don't. I don't want to push him even further away, if that's even possible, you know? I'd like for him to reach out to me. It's not easy and I do not know if I can keep this up for very long.
Suddenly Saturday does not seem so far away and it scares the shit out of me. When I think about it my stomach gets a very bad feeling. Part of me is excited to see him again, especially now that it's been a week (the longest we have not seen each other since I moved down last June) but then again, there probably will not be any more Saturdays, and I don't know if I can handle the fact that it could be the last time I see him.
Well, I am going to go off to the gym. Yesterday I did 3 miles on the treadmill, totally unconscious that I was doing that at all. I've gone every day since D Day, except for the day J moved, which was like going to the gym anyway. :)