"We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success." �Henry David Thoreau
So, Miranda's friend Gabe IMs me yesterday, and we chat for a while. It surely would have been longer, but alas, I was in the middle of getting my sweat on.
So he IMs me today:
Metal in Black: Can I have a link to yr site? Jenn92580: surrrrrrrre Jenn92580: http://lip.diaryland.com Jenn92580: O:-) Metal in Black: Heh Metal in Black: There should be an entry dedicated to me :-) Jenn92580: oh really? Jenn92580: if you are convincing I might think about it :-D Metal in Black: Mhmm...Well I think I should have one dedicated to me because I'm so sweet, sophisticated, spontaneous, reliable, and let's not forget my irresistible charm, dashing good looks and chiseled muscular physique Jenn92580: hmmmmm Jenn92580: keep going ;-)
Well, he sends me some of his writing, and I just had to post it here. Both pieces he shared with me just really pulled at my heart. The words were incredible.
Closer to you
Blockaded by an exhaustion that hinders everything Not enough of anything to clearly define anything Every thought comes with a price, I force myself to go on Every bit is so much worth it, every step I take, brings me
Closer to you I want nothing but to be Closer to you All I have to do is wait
Even if something happened and I never laid my eyes upon you again My life would be better off having witnessed Such an angel as yourself and you are perfect
Show me how to be Closer to you All I want to be Closer to you
And I can't imagine that I could be living Without having met you, it would be so empty And all I have to do is wait and... All I have to do is wait... I wish there was soemthing I could do
Do Nothing
Damning tommorow as I knowingly, willingly, waste away today Like I will tommorow-Hating the flow of time I do nothing at all Sort of, the worst thing I could do, but if feels good for now and Hiding from the pain is easier than going through it, it will never end When I hate myself later, I'll have nothing to show for my youth
I hate myself now, I hate my youth, I'll miss it later I'll hate myself then, I'm afraid to grow old, done nothing I'll just always hate myself so, I can't fight it, might as well rest If there's no escape, take the easy way out and don't provoke Do nothing
I've never been able to give up before, to anything or anyone It wasn't because I was strong, or better than someone else It just meant that I'd given up, the day I was concieved Just another accident, drifting in the sea, I'm nothing Unnoticed, unloved, unmentioned, undone
I hate myself now, I hate my youth, I'll miss it later I'll hate myself then, I'm afraid to grow old, done nothing I'll just always hate myself so, I can't fight it, might as well rest If there's no escape, take the easy way out and don't provoke Do nothing
So I ask myself what's next? Do nothing some more Things are changing, people leaving, just look away Losing grips on reality, sanity, desire and will power In some trap I set myself, waiting to die, getting impatient Everything about this world chokes me
Do nothing, don't breathe Do nothing, don't look Do nothing, don't feel
Wondering lost as hell, in the same boat as the others I could reach out, they reach for me, my rescue With them I could be happy always, be safer in their arm I could reach out to them, and never be alone again Too late, too hopeless, it's easier to do nothing at all
Come live like me save me and damn yourself Come here with me so I can do nothing with you Just like you've done me