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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

Why are my feelings pushed aside? Like they don't matter, like they don't count?

I was talking to Jim today and I was upset, and I was crying. He said to me, don't be upset. Don't cry. He said it wasn't worth being upset about it.

I wanted to tell him to fuck himself. If I am upset I will BE upset. If I am upset I will cry. I don't care if you think I get upset too much. I dont care that you think its silly to cry over some things. That's me.

Why should I always have to be strong? I'm not strong. I don't want to hold my feelings in. When my mother would hit me I would try so hard not to cry. More often than not it would make her more angry, so I figured if I didn't cry maybe she wouldn't hit me as hard, or as often. I also figured that if I didn't cry she would think I didn't care.

I don't know. I am going to come back on later tonight when I am not so angry and upset.

Listening to: "Crawlin" Linkin Park

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