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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

I realized something this morning. My birthday is a week from today...I made it. I am not doomed to the same fate as my mother. I love my mother and everything, but I do not want to follow in her footsteps. Okay, I take that back. There have been times where I have. All in all though I am glad I haven't. I think...

What am I talking about? If I mentioned this before, then just skip to the bottom or something. But anyway, my grandmother had my mother (the oldest) before she turned 16. In fact, she had my mother six months to the day after her wedding day. My mother on the other hand, had me a month and a day before her 21st birthday.

So when I was a young teenager I worried...would that happen to me?

Now I must admit (wow, I wish I had this journal at the time) that a few months ago, I thought I was pregnant. Jim seemed pretty happy about it...or at least pretended to be. I mean, it's not that he meant for it to happen, but he was really great about the whole thing. We started planning and everything. He even told one of his friends that we were going to get married. As convinced as he was that I was pregnant, and as much as I thought I had the symptoms, I figured I should check at the doctors. Jim just kinda shrugged it off, as if I was wasting my time to find out something we already knew.

Except, when I went, I found out I wasn't. I remember the walk from the office to Jim's work. It was sad. When I told him, it almost seemed like he was disappointed.

Anyway, it's seven days before my birthday, and I am not going to have a baby. Unless there is some medical marvel where I could get pregnant, and give birth all within a week! :) I'm glad because I know I will get my degree. In fact, even if I got pregnant, say tomorrow, I would still get my degree. I feel a real sense of accomplishment. My mother never went back to finish her degree. My grandmother has a degree, but she did not get it until much later, via night school. I, on the otherhand, stuck through 4 years of school. Of course, I still have two years left (for my masters) but we won't mention that right now.

Well, I just wanted to share that. Have a great day! :)

QOD:"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'" --Eleanor Roosevelt

Please share this one, as it seems to hold special meaning these days.

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