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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

I should be happy, yet I feel so depressed. One of my friends got engaged this weekend. Her ring is gorgeous.

It doesn't surprise me though...she is so smart, she is beautiful, and really nice. She has everything going for her. She just started teaching too. Fourth grade...lucky girl.

In the midst of writing this I called Jim. I was just so sad. Of course, in typical Jim fashion he made me feel better yet made me feel bad too. He's coming to visit! He wanted to surprise me, and then made me feel bad for "ruining the surprise." He went on and on about how I should be glad he is even alive, since so many people died or had loved ones die. Okay, yeah, so that happened. That does not mean that I should not be sad/mad he wasn't going to come. Fuck that. He always tries to make me feel shitty about my reactions and feelings. I hate that.

So, lets recap:
- Jim is coming to visit
- He's mad at me
- And I am sad because once again he avoided the whole "where is the relationship going" conversation by admitting that he is a commitmentphobe.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat.

Before - After