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July 01, 2006
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June 30, 2006
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June 29, 2006
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June 28, 2006
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June 27, 2006
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From Lip Service

Write about broken promises. A time when someone broke a promise to you or when you broke a promise to someone else.

Well, it would not be me, Jenn the hopeless romantic, if I was not writing about a lover's broken promise...

I think I have mentioned this in another context, so if it sounds familiar, I guess it is.

The year was 1997. I was a junior, dating a senior. I thought myself to be, if not in love, then at least very content. I did not really want to think about love, having had my heart torn into thousands of little pieces by a person at the time I considered my love of my life. (side note: looking back, I love how being a teenager makes everything seem more final, more desperate, than it really is.) Anyway, in trying to set up one of my closest friends I had discovered that the guy actually had a thing for me. Thankfully the friend was rather forgiving when I found myself dating him instead. It had sounded so romantic, the story he had spun for me, how he had fallen in love with me the moment he met me, and carried a torch for two and a half years, trying his best to hide his feelings as I dated his best friend (aka "love of my life")

So we dated for awhile. It was a rather stormy relationship, as my heart was not always in it, and my thoughts often turned to his friend. He would get sad and grip my hand, telling me that he would never leave me, and begged me to promise the same. All but one of my relationships had ended with him leaving me, and I felt rather content to know that if this current relationship was to end, I would be the one to do it.

Except, that never happened. Now, I should have known better than to take that promise seriously, but I did. I think that is what made it hurt the most when he left me on our three month "anniversary."

I felt betrayed, not as much because he left me for another girl, but because he promised he would always be there. I must have listened to my Alanis CD a hundred times that spring...

Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're sill alive

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