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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

I got some of my new stuff from Ebay. I find myself surfing back over to the site to find some more cool shit, but then I remind myself that I really don't need a closet full of cool size 12 stuff when I am working my way back to 10. Woo hoo. It sounds so great to say that I am back to 12. I do not think I have seen 12 in a year or two.

Hmmm...news...news...Well, today I went with my youngest brother and Holly and her son to Chuck E. Cheese. Wow. What a great place to bring kidlets. They get a cool stamp, you get one, and basically they can run wild. You don't have to worry about them (not that I advocate NOT watching kids...I'm just saying...) and everyone can have fun.

Significant events: a girl who worked there kept calling me my brother's mom. I find this interesting, because I still have people thinking I am in high school (like 18 years old) and I am this 10 year old's mom? Riiiiiight. So then my brother corrects her, and then she starts to hit on me. So, apparently I am only attractive if I don't have kids. Man, may I never be a single mom, because that would piss me off.

What an expression..."piss me off." I don't like that one. I think I am going to phase that out. I did that a while back. I hated that I would say "huh?" (and I hate when people say that) so I just phased it out, and usually stick to "pardon (me)?" now.

Of course I have been having problems with changing little things. I have been trying to change my hair habits. I have been so low maintenance with my hair, just wrapping it in a bun.

I hate my frizzy dry hair. I always see those commercials talking about achieving fuller thicker hair...pshaw. I wish I had less full, less thick hair. Damn.

I cut my hair when I was a freshman, and I don't recall liking it all that much; however, when I look back at pictures it looked kinda good. I don't know.

I wish I was girly. I really am not that girly. I just had nobody to look to for tips when I was growing up. My mom is not girly, I have no sisters, and most of my friends were the type who wore flannel and black nail polish. Not the people you ask about lipstick and hair tips.

I wish I had more female friends. I have a few online, of course. But aside from Holly, and V, both women who float in and out of my life I have nobody. It's really sad. I watch Sex and the City and watching those women as friends makes my heart ache.

When I first came to college I was hesitant to make female friends. Many of my "friends" in high school were so catty. One day you were their best friend and the next you were an outcast as far as the group was concerned. That on and off behavior eventually led me to sever my ties, bond closer to Holly, who had left the group when she got married.

I think Jim wonders why when I am at my parents' house I end up hanging out with exes or other guys or Holly. Well, heck, you have to have someone you are close with. If you don't have female friends what else do you have? Boyfriends. I think it can be hard to have male friends. I think it is possible, but somewhere along the way an attraction develops on someone's part. So then the guy either becomes a boyfriend or the friendship is ruined because feelings are hurt.

So, yeah. Point: I really need some female friends. It's not like I want a lot. Just one to three really good friends.

I have to take this opportunity to thank Jenn because she has been a really good friend, and I have been really horrible about getting back to her when she leaves me messages. So, Jenn, I was reading that diary you directed me to, and thank you. I think I am going to go forward in my search. I still feel like a chicken because I cannot think of what to say, when deep in my heart I think it is not as important as I am making it out to be. *sigh*

Alrighty, enough brain spew for one day.

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