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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

I took my first official sick day. Just a half day, actually. All the while today, I felt so guilty. Like I was abandoning my kids. Yesterday morning I started to feel sick. It seems like the whole building is developing various sicknesses. I made it through the day, but by 4 pm I was beat. So I went to bed at a reasonable hour, even slept in, but when I woke up today I really doubted I could make it the whole day. Part of me curses my job in that you can't just take a day off. It's such a production, what with the sub plans, and knowing that really, nothing happens as it would if you were just there. I trudged into school at contract time, and despite the dayquil, I was shitty. I looked shitty, I felt shitty. I think other than the first day of school, this has been the only day to not have my kiddos hanging all over me. I just oozed sick. I think the thing I was worried about most was that I felt like I was losing my voice, and I really did not want to be in that situation again. The other thing that developed later was that it was like my head was filled with cotton candy. I started having a conversation with another teacher, and what I said made no sense. I knew it, and I knew what I meant to say, but my brain was too tired.

I left when my kids were at lunch, and I felt so bad when I walked by the cafeteria (curses for the exit to be next to there!) and my kids called my name, and some reached out to me. :( Man, nothing made me feel more guilty.

Here's to hoping I can return tomorrow!

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