Last night I came home from a 3 day conference at William and Mary. I called Jim when I came back and he said he would come by after work. My roommate had a lesson over, and deciding not to listen to scales on the violin for an hour, I went down to the computer lab. When I came back Jim seemed out of sorts, mad that I wasn't around when he got out of work.
He then told me that he did not want to live together, as we had been planning for a while (he was the one who had asked) and then he said he didn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore.
I cried and cried for about 5 or 6 hours. He stayed, at my insistence, until I finally fell asleep around 1 in the morning. Even as I write this, in the computer lab, I have to fight these tears running down my face. He said horrible things last night. He didn't say them to be mean, but they hurt nonetheless. He said he didn't think he loved me like I love him. That when he pictures his future, he doesn't see me in it. He doesn't see me as the little old lady who celebrates a milestone wedding anniversary with him.
It's been 5 years, 2 months, and 19 days, and it's all over.