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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

So I suppose y'all are wondering how I am doing since everything is going on. By the way, thank you to everyone who has been so kind. It's been so sweet. THANK YOU!!!

Ok, so this morning I called Jim to see what's up, especially since I knew he read my diary. It did not go well. He said he wanted space. To me that has always been a cop out. Kinda like when married couples have a "separation"...it usually leads to divorce and him remarrying some 23 year old named Tiffany who thinks everything is "so cute!" LOL...anyway. So then he said we should break up. Sigh. That was really tough. I cried and cried. His phone beeped for his dad, and we got off the phone after much sobbing on my part, and occasional tears on his.

I called V and wailed about the situation. I had not really shared our tough times as she is a mutual friend and I did not really see it as appropriate. I did not think it was fair. She would only get one side of the story, and I don't want her to feel she has to pick sides.

She has a final like tomorrow (Good luck V!!!) so she offered to swing by and see me when she got out of her study group. That would be around 6. It was 1 pm.

Why were you not at work, you ask. Ah, good question. Well, there was a BBQ at work, so I had planned on calling Jim at 10:00, taking the 10:45 bus and getting in early. This obviously did not happen. So I wondered what to do about work. It seemed too good to pass up a chance to be paid to go to a BBQ. On the other hand, I was hardly in the partying mood. So I flopped on the futon and turned on the TV. What a disappointment. Not being into soaps, I could not find anything good. Even good ol' Lifetime failed me.

Seeing no alternative, I shlepped into work for 2 pm. It was cool. I got paid three hours to do nothing. I always like that.

I came home, and called Jim. Now, tell me how bright I am. He left a message on my machine, I did not really get it, so I call him using 10-10-220. He says, let me call you back (since I had talked to him for like 2 hours earlier) As he hangs up I realize, wait! I am paying a dollar whether I talk for 20 minutes or one. Oh well. Once I saw his cell phone bill, the silly dollar hardly mattered. Ouch!

So we talked. We came to a decision: we are going to stay together, but he needs some space. Okay, okay. Before y'all smack me, let me say this. Think what you want about him, but I love him. And I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Plllllllus, what is good for one, may not be good for another. I stand by my decision, because it's what I want.

But, he was so mean to you, you protest. In fact, I feel the need to post some of the messages I got (I'll do that in the next entry) Well, I am not try to excuse his behavior, because I still don't really think it was nice, HOWEVER, I do think that he means well.

It's been a tough month and half for him for many reasons that I won't get into because this is MY diary, not his. But I do feel that this is not normal behavior, which is why I was upset. I think when things return to normal he will be his sweet sexy self again. If not, then I have no problem kicking him to the curb, I promise.

But anyway, things are going better. I am going to just try to focus on myself for the next 70 days which is when I take the trip out to see him for my birthday. I have a lot to do what with the GREs and crap like that.

On to the next topic: the wonderful notes I received.

Before - After