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July 01, 2006
day 7
June 30, 2006
day 6
June 29, 2006
day 5
June 28, 2006
day 4
June 27, 2006
day 3

I am a member of a writing collab. The name is Wish I am very excited about this. Here is my first submission. Pardon my sucking hardcore.

What is your biggest boo-boo? Your greatest misdeed? What is the *one* thing in your life you wish you could do differently? Now, tell me how your life would be different if you could do just that.

My biggest boo-boo was over 5 years ago. Now, I am sure that many girls say this, and that's fine, but it's the truth. The one thing I wish I could do differently would be to not date this guy named Richard.

I guess I should explain a little. The summer before eighth grade we moved away from Phoenix to a city in the Northeast. I hated it there. A LOT. When I started school I still hated it there. My homeroom teacher sensed this and tried to cheer me up. He helped me to make some friends and in October he decided the next step would be to set me up with someone, especially with the Halloween dance approaching. He decided to set me up with this quiet guy in our homeroom. I really was not interested, and neither was he so it was ok. In fact, shortly after I started going out with someone I met through my new best friend, Sarah. (There is a story in itself!)

So fast forward a little. This guy, Richard, and I were involved in the same extra-curricular activites so we still saw each other. Our freshman year he started dating this sophomore, and they were inseparable. It's kinda funny because people would comment on how much I looked like her. But anyway, I did not really date my freshman year, I wasn't really interested. My only two relationships had not worked out well. (The first one I moved away, and the second my "best friend" stole him)

My sophomore year I started dating a guy that I really really liked. His name was Alan. Unfortunately when our group when on a trip to DC for school vacation, he broke up with me. I was so sad. I had become best friends with his best friends, and she tried to cheer me up. Around that same time Richard and his gf had broken up, so she decided to set us up.

Sigh. It was horrible. He was not a very nice guy, and he coerced me into sleeping with him. It was my first time. I had always planned on sharing it with someone special...

So, yeah, that's what I regret. I don't know exactly how it would have changed my life. But I know it would have been better, at least in some little way.

You know, I have to add that this was something that was very hard to say. I don't know why. I always wonder if there is a line, and if I will cross it when it comes to talking about my personal life. But I guess that since this is MY diary, I should feel free to say what I want, cause if you are looking for something different, well it's not me. But I can't say that I came to this conclusion on my own. Much love goes out to my GREAT friends, and Kati Thanks for helping me to accept myself. =)

Quote of the day...
"Don't be ashamed of what other people think...Fuck 'em." -Miranda

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